Last Orders PDF ↠ Audio


  • Audio
  • 9 pages
  • Last Orders
  • Graham Swift
  • English
  • 28 April 2018
  • 1565117646

10 thoughts on “Last Orders

  1. Paul Bryant Paul Bryant says:

    Scene the smoke room at the Bag of Grandmas, Old Kent Road, Bermondsey, East End, London.Three novelists are propping up the bar and grouching.Ian McEwan My Booker Prize is bigger than yours.Julian Barnes No it fucking isn t, they re all the same size Ian McEwan No they re not, they make em bigger if they think it s a better fucking work of literature Graham Swift No they don tIan McEwan Yes they do, if Shakespeare has won it his d be as big as the London Fucking Eye Salman Rushdi Scene the smoke room at the Bag of Grandmas, Old Kent Road, Bermondsey, East End, London.Three novelists are propping up the bar and grouching.Ian McEwan My Booker Prize is bigger than yours.Julian Barnes No it fucking isn t, they re all the same size Ian McEwan No they re not, they make em bigger if they think it s a better fucking work of literature Graham Swift No they don tIan McEwan Yes they do, if Shakespeare has won it his d be as big as the London Fucking Eye Salman Rushdie got his hollowed out and installed 15 rooms and a fucking swimming pool in it and he lives in it.Graham Swift He lives in his Booker Prize Julian Barnes Mine isn t as big as that but I did have to get a container lorry to get it back home I thought they were all like that Ian McEwan By the prickling of my balls something fucking horrible this way comes ENTER MARTIN AMISIan McEwan Hello, fellow novelist I know an interesting fact about you You never won the Booker Prize and we fucking did.Julian Barnes Also, we re all over 6 foot 6 and we can hardly see you.Graham Swift Is that actually Martin Amis or is it a stain on the rug Martin Amis Fuck off, I could have won the Booker Prize any time I wanted to, it s so easy, it s actually too easy, I wouldn t wipe my arse with a Booker Prize.Graham Swift Well cheer up, you got on the short list, didn t you Get it Short list Short list GS, IM and JB laugh heartily.Martin Amis Well there s no need for thatSnivelling into a filthy handkerchief. And andthinking hardanyway I got my name into the title of a novel that won a Booker Prize Yeah Ian McEwan What was that Martin Amis Ha Ha Ha Graham Swift No, Martin Amis God He s Little Julian Barnes Well, Martin, we give up, which one has your name in it Martin Amis The Famished Road Ha pretty clever hey Graham Swift Too clever for us Martin See, that s why they don t like you That s why they give us the prizes and not you.Martin Amis Bawwwww You re not very nice to me Well, enough ribaldry I m sure the real novelists don t talk a bit like that As for Last Orders, I didn t even want to read it Somebody left it on my shelf and it has a nice cover I didn t like it It was boring All these cor blimey working class cockerneys who use every tiresome handmedown wornout circumlocution and saying and turn of phrase it was TV writing, Eastenders, except that always has several screechy plots going at once to keep you awake which Last Orders frankly didn t All those little secrets, a complex symphony of the unsaid, I couldn t scrape up any enthusiasm The only interesting aspect was that I found that Last Orders ran into a minor controversy when it came out in 1996 because it s got the same overall storyline and it s told in a similar way to As I Lay Dying, the brilliant 1930 William Faulkner novel Some Booker judge said if only I da known that at the time I wouldnta voted for it.But I say don t vote for it because it s a drag not because of some notional plagiarism I say that popular music rips off old songs all the time, sometimes with acknowledgement, sometimes not, and movies get remade, and versions are versioned Clueless is Emma, for instance so authors should be able to do that too and sometimes do quite openly e.g A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley is King LearWe should flay and mock our authors for the right sins not the wrong ones, and dullness is the one unforgivable transgression


  2. Kevin Ansbro Kevin Ansbro says:

    This uneventful novel was the Booker Prize winner of 1996 I glimpsed fleeting moments of literary excellence but the book s prosaic conversational style wasn t for me It also pained me to see ain t without its apostrophe on almost every page Aint that annoying


  3. Kinga Kinga says:

    This was easily the least exciting Booker Prize winner I ve ever read You know that other London all us new hipster Londoners never get to know Even though we all live together, on the same streets, we are divided by our pubs There are the new hipster pubs with craft beer and a cosmopolitan atmosphere, and then right next to them, there is an old man pub The Weatherspoon s kind of affair with a tatty carpet and a clientele that has known each other for decades If I ever end up in a pub like This was easily the least exciting Booker Prize winner I ve ever read You know that other London all us new hipster Londoners never get to know Even though we all live together, on the same streets, we are divided by our pubs There are the new hipster pubs with craft beer and a cosmopolitan atmosphere, and then right next to them, there is an old man pub The Weatherspoon s kind of affair with a tatty carpet and a clientele that has known each other for decades If I ever end up in a pub like that, it s by mistake or by some unforeseen circumstances I m ashamed to admit that I have little curiosity about the people there and usually just feel uncomfortable and want to leave Those pubs are like little towns, every newcomer is an event in itself, though I m sure the hostility is entirely imagined by me and due to my unchecked social anxiety I know there are many people that disagree with me entirely on this point and for some reason maintain that old man pubs are actually the best This is irrelevant to this review Last Orders is an old man pub novel And is just as thrilling I m told it is a tribute remake rip off of As I Lay Dying by Faulkner I can t comment on that as I haven t read any Faulkner at all but I feel Faulkner has to be better than this.Other than being a pub novel, it s a road trip novel with a group of friends driving to Margate to scatter the ashes of their late friend as per his last wish There is some plot, secrets are revealed, some sort of emotions are felt but everything really tastes like stale beer Or like the idea of holidaying in Margate My life has been so farexciting than the stories of the characters and it s not like there is anything quaint about them either It s a bunch of sad old men who look back on their lives, weighing their regrets and realising they too will die soon They are also indistinguishable and it s not helped by the fact that there is, for example, a Vic and a Vince That is all not to say you can t write an amazing book about a boring person, but for that I d like to direct you to This is How by MJ Hyland I think the problem is actually not that they are boring but that they are not authentic They are still like those figures I see when I quickly peek inside an old mans pub, some characters from a British sitcom from the 80s that s all old London slang and zero substance I didn t buy the whole Sarf London vernacular it feels forced This is how I would make them talk and I clearly know fuck all about South London vernacular despite living in Camberwell for three whole years.There is also a film Maybe it s better


  4. Julie Julie says:

    It ain t like your regular sort of day.Nope It ain t It ain t my regular kind o book, neither.


  5. Tony Tony says:

    This begins It ain t like your regular sort of day Not exactly Call me Ishmael but you have to start somewhere A little workshoppy, but there s some promise there Perhaps it could turn into a one day, colloquial journey through themes and characters.But then again, maybe not In a few brisk chapters we have encountered the word met suggestspurchase than we are given Ray, Jack, Sue, Sally, Vince, Vic, Lenny, Amy, Bernie, Brenda, Joan, Mandy, Carol and Charlie Was there any need t This begins It ain t like your regular sort of day Not exactly Call me Ishmael but you have to start somewhere A little workshoppy, but there s some promise there Perhaps it could turn into a one day, colloquial journey through themes and characters.But then again, maybe not In a few brisk chapters we have encountered the word met suggestspurchase than we are given Ray, Jack, Sue, Sally, Vince, Vic, Lenny, Amy, Bernie, Brenda, Joan, Mandy, Carol and Charlie Was there any need to introduce us to Bill, 150 pages in 150 pages in and I have to furrow my brow to be certain who s the mother, who s the daughter, who s married to whom, and who s the dead guy Workshoppy Yes, I think that s the appropriate word here 150 pages in and you can tell that the dead guy wanted his ashes tossed by his friends But they have to travel and they have to remember things about themselves, and about the dead guy 150 pages in and you can already tell there looms some larger secret, but one that will be held just far enough away from us to drive us toward that teasing denouement, in lieu of, say, plot 150 pages in and I don t really care any There was one scene where Ray s daughter tells him she is following some man half way around the world to Australia I felt Ray s loss I know that ache That is why Old men get pissy eyes But that moment was soon obscured by the next brief chapter where the reader must sift the pronouns to see just who it is he s writing about now.I have reading friends who swear by Graham Swift And the Booker people sure like him I ve tried 2 1 2 books and I give up


  6. Ellen Ellen says:

    What a beautiful, beautiful book Graham Swift has got to be one of the greatest writers of our generation This is not a large book, but one should take his time reading to savor his language, his great skill in crafting amazingly simple stories of everyday people Swift brings his characters in this book, butchers, junk dealers, used car salesmen, funeral directors, housewives great dignity Four friends set out to scatter the ashes of a mutual friend, at his request Not an original plot de What a beautiful, beautiful book Graham Swift has got to be one of the greatest writers of our generation This is not a large book, but one should take his time reading to savor his language, his great skill in crafting amazingly simple stories of everyday people Swift brings his characters in this book, butchers, junk dealers, used car salesmen, funeral directors, housewives great dignity Four friends set out to scatter the ashes of a mutual friend, at his request Not an original plot device, but Swift makes this small, sweet tale an interwoven poem about love and life and changes I listened to this book, and the readers on Audible were superb, but I think I might go back and actually read at least portions of the book, just to savor the written words on the page


  7. John Anthony John Anthony says:

    Jack, a Butcher and propper up of the bar at his local alongside his mates Raysy, Lenny, Vic and Vince, Jack s unofficially adopted son dies He wants his ashes scattered off Margate His widow, Amy, passes the batton urn to Jack s mates, who all have a soft spot for Amy They set off from Bermondsey to Margate in Vince s flash car he s a second hand car dealer and mechanic for this purpose.The story of their pilgrimage is endearingly human, sometimes tense, often funny, almost always full of Jack, a Butcher and propper up of the bar at his local alongside his mates Raysy, Lenny, Vic and Vince, Jack s unofficially adopted son dies He wants his ashes scattered off Margate His widow, Amy, passes the batton urn to Jack s mates, who all have a soft spot for Amy They set off from Bermondsey to Margate in Vince s flash car he s a second hand car dealer and mechanic for this purpose.The story of their pilgrimage is endearingly human, sometimes tense, often funny, almost always full of emotion Each of the main characters tells their stories throughout the book a chapter here, a chapter there, until the reader has built up a picture of their lives and how they interact, or otherwise, with each other.Well written, very human and enjoyable


  8. Jane Odgers Jane Odgers says:

    CharactersJack Arthur Dodds deceased Dodds and Son Family Butcher, since 1903 Vince Dodds Vincent Ian Pritchett son of Jack and Amy Dodds Autos Ray Lucky Johnson if you want to put a bet on, he s your man Lenny Tate, Grocer Gunner Tate, middleweight Always pissed Always late Vic Tucker, Funeral Director at your disposal Amy Dodds Jack s wife, mother of June mentally disabled it was hop picking that started it.It s all pickings Mandy Black CharactersJack Arthur Dodds deceased Dodds and Son Family Butcher, since 1903 Vince Dodds Vincent Ian Pritchett son of Jack and Amy Dodds Autos Ray Lucky Johnson if you want to put a bet on, he s your man Lenny Tate, Grocer Gunner Tate, middleweight Always pissed Always late Vic Tucker, Funeral Director at your disposal Amy Dodds Jack s wife, mother of June mentally disabled it was hop picking that started it.It s all pickings Mandy Black wife of Vince a lassie from Lancashire This is a beautiful book Beautifully written, beautifully controlled It is about the ordinary lives of ordinary people, and the mixture of accident and circumstances which shapes such lives Commonplace events, personal tragedies, laughter, love and death are all part of their shared memories But faced with the blunt reality of death, these memories seem like small eddies in the flow of events which have brought them to this present moment Could they have changed anything Can they change anything now Last Orders shows Graham Swift writing at his best, and he well deserves the nomination for the Booker Prize The atmosphere he builds up as the book progresses is one of thoughtful reverie, which I found so absorbing that I was irritated by anything which distracted me from the book and broke the spell It is a simple story, simply told, but one which has great depths.The story begins in an East London pub And Jack Dodds, dead and alive, is present from the start right up to the final moment when his ashes are carried away by the wind at the end of Margate Pier It is Jack s boxed ashes which bring his family and friends together in their favourite Bermondsy pub and it is this heavy box and its contents which prompt their reminiscences on the car ride to the South Coast town of Margate Shared memories overlap as the trip to Margate progresses, and in the forced intimacy of the car, old grudges re surface and cause unexpected diversions But finally, Jack s last orders for the disposal of his ashes are carried outor less as he directed.For various reasons, Ray was probably the closest of Jack s friends And it is Ray s thoughts that we hear most frequently as we follow the inner and outer journeys of the various characters Like the others, Ray speaks a vernacular which Swift captures subtly and skilfully, without tricks or exaggeration For a page or two, the language struck me as strange, but it was soon so familiar that it seemed completely normal Since I grew up close to this part of London, it was speech which was well known to me, and I felt that I knew these people and shared something of their background and histories But Swift never makes his English setting or its history intrusive, so his people and their thoughts, actions and memories are simply human and, as such, are understandable to all.In fact, the very ordinariness of the characters made it difficult, at first, for me to distinguish one voice from another, and I found myself checking the chapter headings to see who was speaking Recognition grew from small accretions of signs as the story progressed, and very soon I was familiar with the particular character traits of particular speakers Lenny s antagonism towards Vince, for example Vince s obsession with cars and Vic s dry, matter of fact view of life and death, and his odd sense of humour Like other aspects of this book, the slow, simple approach added to the realness of the story, rather as in one of Mike Leigh s films It would have been very easy for Swift to create vivid, distinctive characters, as he has done before, but his gentle, understated approach is an essential part of the gradual intensifying of atmosphere which he achieves so well It invites us to contemplate the course of our own lives And it is also completely consistent with the old butchers wisdom that Jack Dodds, towards the end of the book, recalls for us, just as he heard it from his father It is advice which I think Swift intends us all to apply to our lives


  9. Shawn Mooney (Shawn The Book Maniac) Shawn Mooney (Shawn The Book Maniac) says:

    I loved this almost as much as Mothering Sunday This one is very male focused, populated by a group of bumbling, inarticulate, hard drinking Londoners on a road trip to scatter their friend Jack s ashes, each man s grief complicated by tangles of Jack related secrets The polyphonic audio version is amazing It took me a while to get into it, but the intensity gathered and gathered and cracked me wide open.


  10. Rob Rob says:

    Ordinary people have deep lives.We live in the present and the past I have only realised the last few years that time is not linear We are continually dipping in and out of the past, the present and the future We are living it all at the same time Graham Swift has written a complex book that tries to blend this truth with the other truth that our stories are not solely ours We are part of history, of communities and families Our inner worlds bump up against others, and historical forces Ordinary people have deep lives.We live in the present and the past I have only realised the last few years that time is not linear We are continually dipping in and out of the past, the present and the future We are living it all at the same time Graham Swift has written a complex book that tries to blend this truth with the other truth that our stories are not solely ours We are part of history, of communities and families Our inner worlds bump up against others, and historical forces shape our inner worlds So this is the story A group of male friends, nearly all entering the home stretch of their lives, are carrying out the last wishes of their friend Jack He wants his ashes scattered from the pier at Margate They meet up at the pub and set out together for down at heel coastal town How complicated can this story be Swift uses the device of entering each persons head to tell the story Each character muses about his life and that of Jack s They are all of a time and place They are all Cockneys, while not precisely working class, they are certainly culturally that way inclined Except for Jack s son Vince, they have all been through World War II Some met in the army Some lived across the street They are of a time and place though, and while they have similar stoic attitudes towards life, they are all different but the same.This device, while I understand why the author wants to do it, is also very confusing The voices of the characters are not distinctive enough to not be confusing to even the most attentive reader The deep bonds of affectation, love and just plain old shared history that bind these characters lives together gives this book its integrity


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Last Orders❮EPUB❯ ❄ Last Orders ✿ Author Graham Swift – Thomashillier.co.uk Set in Southeast England, friendship and love among a group of men whose lives have been intertwined since World War II When one dies, the survivors are brought together and are forced to take stock o Set in Southeast England, friendship and love among a group of men whose lives have been intertwined since World War II When one dies, the survivors are brought together and are forced to take stock of the paths their lives have taken, by choice and by accident, since the war Winner of theBooker Prize.


About the Author: Graham Swift

Graham Colin Swift FRSL born May , is a British author He was born in London, England and educated at Dulwich College, London, Queens College, Cambridge, and later the University of York He was a friend of Ted HughesSome of his works have been made into films, including Last Orders, which starred Michael Caine and Bob Hoskins and Waterland which starred Jeremy Irons Last Orders was a joint winner of the James Tait Black Memorial Prize for fiction and a mildly controversial winner of the Booker Prize in , owing to the superficial similarities in plot to William Faulkner s As I Lay Dying Waterland was set in The Fens it is a novel of landscape, history and family, and is often cited as one of the outstanding post war British novels and has been a set text on the English Literature syllabus in British schools.