How Perfect Is That PDF/EPUB ´ How Perfect eBook


How Perfect Is That ❮PDF / Epub❯ ✅ How Perfect Is That ❤ Author Sarah Bird – Thomashillier.co.uk Blythe Young a wannabe Texas princess, a heroine as plucky, driven, and desperate as Vanity Fair s Becky Sharp is plummeting precipitously from up to downstairs, banging her head on every step of the Blythe Young a wannabe Texas princess, a heroine as plucky, driven, and desperate as Vanity Fair s Becky Sharp is plummeting precipitously from up to downstairs, banging her head on every step of the How Perfect eBook ✓ Austin social ladder as she falls Not unlike the country as a whole, Blythe has surrendered to a multitude of dubious moral choices and is now facing the disastrous consequences bankruptcy, public humiliation, a teensy fondness for the pharmaceuticals, and no Pap smear for ten years But worst of all, she is forced to move back into the fleabag co op boardinghouse where she lived when she was a student at the University of TexasThough Blythe cares much about the ravaged state of her nails, and how to get the ingredients for Code Warrior Blythe s proprietary blend of Stoli, Ativan, and Red Bull that keeps everything in focus her soul is hanging in the balance Only when she is in danger of losing the one friend who s been her true moral center is she ready to face her sins and make amendsAnd her penance is merciless she must find a way to lure her former socialite friends into the tofu tenement she has been reduced to Little does Blythe know that the ensuing collision between the pierced, tattooed, and dreadlocked inhabitants and the pampered, Kir sipping socialites offers the only hope of finding a way out of her moral quagmireFunny, fast paced, sharp eyed, an old fashioned morality tale with an appropriately twenty first century ending, How Perfect Is That is a comic triumph of a novel.

    Free Unlimited eBook no Pap smear for ten years But worst of all, she is forced to move back into the fleabag co op boardinghouse where she lived when she was a student at the University of TexasThough Blythe cares much about the ravaged state of her nails, and how to get the ingredients for Code Warrior Blythe s proprietary blend of Stoli, Ativan, and Red Bull that keeps everything in focus her soul is hanging in the balance Only when she is in danger of losing the one friend who s been her true moral center is she ready to face her sins and make amendsAnd her penance is merciless she must find a way to lure her former socialite friends into the tofu tenement she has been reduced to Little does Blythe know that the ensuing collision between the pierced, tattooed, and dreadlocked inhabitants and the pampered, Kir sipping socialites offers the only hope of finding a way out of her moral quagmireFunny, fast paced, sharp eyed, an old fashioned morality tale with an appropriately twenty first century ending, How Perfect Is That is a comic triumph of a novel."/>
  • Hardcover
  • 320 pages
  • How Perfect Is That
  • Sarah Bird
  • English
  • 20 October 2019
  • 0307268284

About the Author: Sarah Bird

Daughter of a Daughter of a Queen My previous novels are Above the East China SeaAlamo HouseBoyfriend SchoolMommy ClubVirgin of the RodeoYokota Officers ClubFlamenco AcademyHow Perfect Is ThatThe Gap YearI ve been a winner How Perfect eBook ✓ of a Meryl Streep Screenwriting Award an NPR Moth storyteller an Indie s Pick a humor columnist for Texas Monthly for eight years Awards include a Dobie Paisano Fellowship a National Magazine Award Elle Magazine Readers Prize People Magazines Page Turners Barnes Nobles Discover Great Writers a BookSense Pick NY Public Library s Books to Remember s Fiction and Literature Editors Best Book of the Year list SW Critics Best Novel of the Year Texas Institute of Letters Award for Best Work of Fiction, twice and Texas Writers Hall of Fame member Besides Texas Monthly my articles and essays have appeared in Oprahs Magazine, NY Times Sunday Magazine, Real Simple, Mademoiselle, Glamour, Salon, Ladies Home Journal, Good Housekeeping, Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, MS, and Texas Observer I ve written screenplays for Paramount, CBS, Warner Bros, National Geographic, ABC, TNT, Hemdale Studio, and several independent producers.



10 thoughts on “How Perfect Is That

  1. Lisa Lisa says:

    Disappointedly, I rate this 3.5 stars When I first started it, I was ready to give it a full 5 stars on the for what it is shelf , because I was so dazzled by the slapstick clever snark onrush Bird is great at coming up with the perfect contemporary culture laced descriptions and using them to skewer upper crust Texas ladies and their satellites The book can t keep up with its giddy beginning, though, and it bogs down during the long Blythe grows a conscience and learns to be a good frie Disappointedly, I rate this 3.5 stars When I first started it, I was ready to give it a full 5 stars on the for what it is shelf , because I was so dazzled by the slapstick clever snark onrush Bird is great at coming up with the perfect contemporary culture laced descriptions and using them to skewer upper crust Texas ladies and their satellites The book can t keep up with its giddy beginning, though, and it bogs down during the long Blythe grows a conscience and learns to be a good friend middle section There are a lot of entertaining secondary characters throughout, notably some of Blythe s ex employees I do wish fricking Millie didn t get so much page time It s a good thing everyone in the book loves her so much, because for the reader she is a dead bore The narrative perks back up briefly toward the end when the upper crust ladies make a second appearance I swear, these parts really made me laugh out loud but has a head scratcher of an unsatisfying not to mention infuriating ending.EDIT scratch that part about the head scratcher of an unsatisfying endingthe audio Playaway device I used to experience this book was defective It didn t contain the final chapter, which wraps everything up Since no one else was complaining about the ending, I found the real book and looked it up Whew Thanks, Goodreads reviewers Still only 3.5 stars, though

  2. Nely Nely says:

    Blythe Young has been given lemons and has no idea how to make lemonade with them.She was recently married to a very wealthy man and part of a well known family, but sadly is now divorced and she made the mistake of signing a pre nup So she s broke, wearing last years fashion, living in her friends pool side cabin, and all while trying to maintain her socialite status but failing miserably Her last chance is to cater an upscale garden party for one of her ritzy friends but that is a total d Blythe Young has been given lemons and has no idea how to make lemonade with them.She was recently married to a very wealthy man and part of a well known family, but sadly is now divorced and she made the mistake of signing a pre nup So she s broke, wearing last years fashion, living in her friends pool side cabin, and all while trying to maintain her socialite status but failing miserably Her last chance is to cater an upscale garden party for one of her ritzy friends but that is a total disaster and the last step off the social ladder for her She s bankrupt, being hounded by an IRS agent, and stalked by her irate employees who have not been paid for months, she has been publicly humiliated, and is addicted to pharmaceuticals oh, and have I mentioned that she hasn t had a Pap smear in ten years Luckily for her she remembers a friend the only one she can remember and whose calls she s been ignoring and runs to her for help The only problem, her friend still resides in the same housing co op she did back when they were in college While residing amongst the tattooed, the pierced, the rasta wannabe s and the musically hip, she begins to face her sins and make amends for her behavior but not without getting into all types of scrapes and scuffles along the way.I thought this was hilarious Blythe is a narrator you will not soon forget Her story is one full of ups and downs but mostly one of hope She gets herself into all types of wacky situations and is always in some type of trouble even when she is trying to do something good it backfires on her She is funny, sarcastic, witty and clever All the other characters were quirky and unique and they were just tons of fun The story is set in Austin, TX and from what I ve read from other reviewers the descriptions of Austin are very accurate and there is a lot of Austin insider info were someone who is not from or has never been to Austin might not fully comprehend That was definitely not the case with me and I do fall under the category of never been This is a quick, easy read with an uplifting message that I would definitely recommend it

  3. Bridget Bridget says:

    Blythe Young has made some serious mistakes in her life and is on a dangerous downward spiral She has lost all that was important to her Her friends, her husband and worst of all, her status She is now forced to work for her money and has a the world owes me attitude With the IRS hot on her trail, how will she survive She can t go home and she drugged her clients so she can t exactly ask for her check Then a lightbulb appears and she realizes that she does have somewhere she can go Her Blythe Young has made some serious mistakes in her life and is on a dangerous downward spiral She has lost all that was important to her Her friends, her husband and worst of all, her status She is now forced to work for her money and has a the world owes me attitude With the IRS hot on her trail, how will she survive She can t go home and she drugged her clients so she can t exactly ask for her check Then a lightbulb appears and she realizes that she does have somewhere she can go Her college roommate, Millie, who has a heart of gold will surely take her in In her desperation she uses the only means she knows to get what she wants She lies and sucks up Will Millie take Blythe under her wing and show her the error of her ways or will Millie the saint become as frustrated and fed up with Blythe as everyone else seems to be I really enjoyed this book If you have ever made a mistake or lost touch with someone important to you then you will be able to relate to Blythe in some way, shape, or form.Thank you to Sarah from Pocket Books for sending me this book to review

  4. Cher Johnson Cher Johnson says:

    There may be spoilers Someone I respect highly recommended this book, but while I found the language clever, I couldn t get past the unrelenting shallowness of the main character and the unlike ability of almost everyone else The selfish world of these Austin TX rich folks holds little appeal, and the recounting of the size of their mansions, plus the listing of the finest brands of material possessions that these people surround themselves with doesn t impress The madcap adventures did not There may be spoilers Someone I respect highly recommended this book, but while I found the language clever, I couldn t get past the unrelenting shallowness of the main character and the unlike ability of almost everyone else The selfish world of these Austin TX rich folks holds little appeal, and the recounting of the size of their mansions, plus the listing of the finest brands of material possessions that these people surround themselves with doesn t impress The madcap adventures did not find me rooting for the protagonist to succeed with her lies as she plotted to fool everyone and get away with various criminal and or mean escapades to save herself I read some reviews and apparently there is some kind of redemption, but I m too bored to keep reading In real life I wouldn t want to spend a minute with these people

  5. Mirabai Mirabai says:

    I was hoping this would be a rollickingly fun read, it certainly seemed like it would be unscrupulous, fallen Austin socialite Blythe Young born Chanterelle in an Abilene trailer park finds herself the victim of all her own bad choices and without anywhere to go but her old college co op Can she re constitute some semblance of a life worth living, or is she unredeemable Two guesses.Sarah Bird has always been a hoot and a half, and I needed a book that takes place w in 100 miles of where I l I was hoping this would be a rollickingly fun read, it certainly seemed like it would be unscrupulous, fallen Austin socialite Blythe Young born Chanterelle in an Abilene trailer park finds herself the victim of all her own bad choices and without anywhere to go but her old college co op Can she re constitute some semblance of a life worth living, or is she unredeemable Two guesses.Sarah Bird has always been a hoot and a half, and I needed a book that takes place w in 100 miles of where I live for the 2017 Book Riot challenge, so this was supposed to be a fun time Instead, the whole first third of the book was an anxiety provoking read, with plenty of frustration thrown in over what an a hole Blythe is which is, of course the point but fun No The next third is kinda boring, and only in the last third does the story pick up some steam Some have complained that there s a lot of unlikely, farfetched plot points in this, and they re not wrong I do think Sarah Bird meant them in a wink wink, this is ridiculous, but isn t it funny way Not meant to be taken too seriously I mean, we re all aware we re reading a book of comic fiction, right I did like recognizing all the local places mentioned in the book, but 2.5 stars, rounded down because it just should have deliveredenjoyment

  6. Judy Judy says:

    I am generally a fan of Sarah Bird s books This one, not so much I almost stopped reading it because I really didn t like the main character You would think you would feel sorry for a woman whose rich husband dumps her on the say so of his mother, using the pre nup to leave her bankrupt And yet, the way she chooses to deal with the situation, running the gamut from lying, to cheating her event customers, to doing drugs, and drugging her customers at a party in the hope they won t notice she I am generally a fan of Sarah Bird s books This one, not so much I almost stopped reading it because I really didn t like the main character You would think you would feel sorry for a woman whose rich husband dumps her on the say so of his mother, using the pre nup to leave her bankrupt And yet, the way she chooses to deal with the situation, running the gamut from lying, to cheating her event customers, to doing drugs, and drugging her customers at a party in the hope they won t notice she s substituted subpar food, is a turn off As someone who has lived in and near Austin for years, the physical setting was well done, although not knowing any rich people, I can t really speak to the cultural setting she is describing Luckily, as the book progressed I gotinterested in her attempts to redeem herself Still, I m basically rounding up from 2.5 stars when I give it three If you haven t read Sarah Bird before, I d try another one first

  7. Jen Jen says:

    Clich d Overly reliant on melodrama and vulgarities I borrowed this book from a friend, so I trusted her taste and forced myself to read 50 pages, which were truly awful The characters are too simple, zero complexity, no subtleties The next day I forced myself to read , but I had to stop after page 100 because I could feel my brain cells dying I think this deserves negative stars, but I ll give it one star because my friend liked it.

  8. Malia Malia says:

    Abandoned book at the half way point Characters were not likable and were poorly written So many clich s poured out upon every character They were so heavy laden with socialite and upper crust stereotypes I felt like I was reading a kid s hate diary.

  9. Charles Matthews Charles Matthews says:

    Sarah Bird s new novel is a Cinderella story Although when it begins, her Cinderella has already married and divorced the Prince she s been booted from the palace not by her wicked stepmother but by her wicked mother in law She has to return to the scullery, but she finds there the equivalent of a fairy godmother And when another Prince comes along, she has some helpers, like the mice and birds of the Disney version, to prep her for the ball.But in truth, Bird s heroine, Blythe Young, is an Sarah Bird s new novel is a Cinderella story Although when it begins, her Cinderella has already married and divorced the Prince she s been booted from the palace not by her wicked stepmother but by her wicked mother in law She has to return to the scullery, but she finds there the equivalent of a fairy godmother And when another Prince comes along, she has some helpers, like the mice and birds of the Disney version, to prep her for the ball.But in truth, Bird s heroine, Blythe Young, is an anti Cinderella Her trailer trash tramp of a mother had christened her Chanterelle in her single, solitary moment of maternal lyricism she had named her only child after a mushroom After graduating from the University of Texas at Austin when the dot com bubble was at its most inflated, Blythe started a catering business called Wretched Xcess Event Coordination Extraordinaire At one event, she caught the eye of the crown prince of Austin high society, Henry Trey Biggs Dix the Third, whom she married, thereby surviving the bubble burst by riding in triumph into Bushworld.Now, trying to make a comeback as a caterer after her divorce, she stages a garden party for one of her old socialite friends But when the hostess discovers that Blythe is passing off taquitos from Sam s Club as Petites Tournedos B arnaise la Mexicaine, she threatens to withhold payment Whereupon Blythe spikes the party s kir royales with Rohypnol.Blythe has been fueling herself with her proprietary blend of Red Bull, Stoli, Ativan, just the tiniest smidge of OxyContin, and one thirty milligram, timed released spansule of Dexedrine She s up, she s down, and having slipped a mickey to the cream of Austin society she s out of money and gas for her catering van Moreover, the Internal Revenue Service is nipping at her heels because of her casual attitude toward her taxes So she heads toward the only refuge that remains her old college rooming house, the Seneca Falls Housing Co op, now run by her former roommate, Millie Ott.Blythe s antithesis, altruistic Millie tends not only to the needs of Seneca House s fringe dwelling college students but also to various street people homeless men, illegal immigrant day workers, and panhandling runaway teens With Blythe s arrival, this secular saint meets the devil wearing Prada Actually, Blythe is decked out in her last remaining outfit, Zac Posen with Christian Louboutin shoes And thus Blythe plummets ascends from Bushworld into hippiedom, giving Bird a chance to gleefully skewer the denizens of both planes of Austin existence and serve them up as a satiric shish kabob Readers of Bird s novels know that she loves her misfits, and won t be surprised that in the end, hippiedom wins out Not to give anything away that the reader won t see coming a mile off, this time it s the fairy godmother who gets her prince while anti Cinderella learns a few things about what really matters.How Perfect Is That doesn t have the range and depth of Bird s best novel, The Yokota Officers Club, or the engaging exploration of a subculture found in her most recent one, The Flamenco Academy It has to be said that her satiric target, the Bush worshipping nouveaux riches, is as bloated as a blimp, and that Bird attacks it with a broadsword The women all have names like Kippie Lee, Bamsie, Cookie, Blitz and Missy, and they vie with one another to see who can build the most extravagant mega mansion in Pemberton Heights Kippie Lee s ideal is Becca Cason Thrash, whose 20,000 square foot Houston house has 13 bathrooms, but her husband insisted on only four, whereupon Kippie Lee split the difference and went for eight and her husband started having an affair with his dental hygienist.Topical satires usually wind up in the remainder bins, victims of creeping obsolescence But How Perfect Is That takes note of the winds of change The story begins in April 2003, a month before the declaration of Mission Accomplished, when Bush s popularity was near its post 9 11 peak But time wounds all heels, and by the end of the novel, even Kippie Lee and Bamsie are distancing themselves from the president We never really liked Bush anyway, Bamsie confesses to Blythe Every Southern girl in the country knew a hundred frat guys just like Bush and every one of them was smarter and better looking Bird s snark is tempered with heart, and the tug of her plotting and the warmth of her characterization overcome the occasional heavy handedness of the satire Blythe is a splendid creation, a kind of Auntie Mame for the Internet age Though How Perfect Is That isn t perfect, it s exactly what you re looking for if you want an enjoyable summer read

  10. Cinnamon Cinnamon says:

    We ve all heard the saying, When you re at the top, the only way to go is down Well, Blythe was at the top She had it all the perfect husband, the perfect house and money raining down around her With nowhere else to go except plummeting off of her perfect cloud, Blythe s life does just that Now a divorcee, Blythe kicks herself constantly for signing that dratted prenuptial agreement and although her life is in shambles, it leads to some great laughs for the reader HOW PERFECT IS THAT by We ve all heard the saying, When you re at the top, the only way to go is down Well, Blythe was at the top She had it all the perfect husband, the perfect house and money raining down around her With nowhere else to go except plummeting off of her perfect cloud, Blythe s life does just that Now a divorcee, Blythe kicks herself constantly for signing that dratted prenuptial agreement and although her life is in shambles, it leads to some great laughs for the reader HOW PERFECT IS THAT by Sarah Bird is a perfect summer read with drama, suspense and the perfect amount of gossip to fuel our fun loving little hearts.Blythe s story is that of a ruined socialite She had it all and then in the blink of an eye lost it all as well Her catering business is now the only thing that is keeping her head above water and even that is plummeting to the ground What s a girl to do when her clients want p t but refuse to pay her an advance to purchase the goods Why, she makes it with Crisco, that s what.Living in a carriage house, Blythe is trying to survive and attempt to feed herself and her business Only problem is that everyone keeps coming after her for money Even her employees want to be paid now Ha With a cocktail of liquor and psychiatric medications keeping her going, Blythe must find some way to turn her life around and gain the ability to once again stand on her own two feet Seeing her old friend Millie as her only escape, Blythe will run to her and beg sanctuary Will Millie stand with Blythe through thick and thin or will Blythe s escapades push Millie to the edge I thought HOW PERFECT IS THAT was absolutely hilarious Bird does an amazing job of instilling realism and humor into her story in such a way that we don t really question whether or not this could actually happen Of course it can Nobody could possibly be creative enough to make up Blythe and her odd ways of going through life right Bird s creativity flows through the pages as we encounter events with Blythe that will both drop our jaws and have us rolling on the floor in laughter at the same time.One of these moments for me was right near the beginning where Blythe decides that she must drug the people at the party she is catering so that they won t realize how bad the food really is That scene was unbelievable and hilarious at the same time I felt horribly guilty for laughing, but how could you not Bird s writing makes you laugh, makes you feel I absolutely loved that about the book and I imagine that anyone else with a tender spot for stories that make you feel something would love this as well.For a quick, fun, summer read I was expecting good characters but fairly shallow depictions Instead, I found that Bird s main characters were very well developed with multiple layers of complexity If I ve said it once, I ve said it a thousand times This adds depth to the story and acts as another handhold for the brain to attach to Through the characters, we wereable to fully dive into the story and become one with Blythe Due to her mishaps, this wasn t always pleasant, but being able to feel that connection with a character in a story was fantastic.HOW PERFECT IS THAT was a lovely book with wonderful characters and a good deal of tension to pull the reader in I loved the story and I believe my rating should reflect that I would highly recommend this to anyone looking for some good women s fiction, a nice summer read or just something different to carry the mind away This was a fun story, an emotional story and a great work of fiction by author Sarah Bird

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