[BOOKS] ✴ Two Hearts: An Adoptee's Journey Through Grief to Gratitude ✻ Linda Hoye – Thomashillier.co.uk


Two Hearts: An Adoptee's Journey Through Grief to Gratitude Linda Hoye Was In Her Early Twenties When She Found Herself Parentless For The Second TimeAdopted At Five Months Of Age, Her Heritage, Medical History, And Access To Information About Who She Was Or Where She Came From Was Sealed It Was As If She Had Never Existed Before Being Adopted When She Was Barely In Her Twenties Her Adoptive Parents Died And A Pattern Of Loss Was Put Into Motion That Would Continue For Years As, One By One, Those She Called Family Were Torn From Her Life Struggling To Deal With The Loss Of Her Family Of Origin And Her Adoptive Parents, She Ultimately Reunites With Members Of Her Birth Family But There Is Never A Reunion With The Woman Who Gave Her Life And She Continues To Feel Lost, Rejected, And Disconnected Two Hearts Charts A Course Through A Complex Series Of Relationships Stemming From The Author S Adoptive Family, Her Maternal And Paternal Birth Families, And An Abusive Marriage As The Author Seeks The One Thing She So Desperately Wants Family Hoye Knows She Must Come To Terms With The Bitterness She Harbors Toward Her Birth Mother When She Becomes A Grandmother And, Soon After, Faces The Loss Of The Last Remaining Members Of Her Adoptive Family She Makes One Final Attempt To Find Something That Will Give Her The Sense Of Rightness That Eluded Her For So LongThis Is The Story Of A Strong And Courageous Woman S Journey Through Unfathomable Grief Of What It Takes To Go Into The Abyss Of Deep Seated Wounding, To Feel The Pain, And To Come Out The Other Side, Whole, Healed, And Thankful


10 thoughts on “Two Hearts: An Adoptee's Journey Through Grief to Gratitude

  1. says:

    Linda Hoye spins a poignant tale of love, loss and longing in an adoptee s search for her identity With a genuine and compelling voice, she brings us into her lifelong search for her biological roots starting with the story of her childhood with her adoptive parents, Ed and Laura Although they are loving parents, she harbors a sense of not belonging Her yearning to discover her history combined with her longing for an intact family of her own lead her into a relationship that turns abusive an Linda Hoye spins a poignant tale of love, loss and longing in an adoptee s search for her identity With a genuine and compelling voice, she brings us into her lifelong search for her biological roots starting with the story of her childhood with her adoptive parents, Ed and Laura Although they are loving parents, she harbors a sense of not belonging Her yearning to discover her history combined with her longing for an intact family of her own lead her into a relationship that turns abusive and prompts her to stay in this relationship longer than is good for her or her two children As the heroine in her hero s journey, she eventually finds her way out with her two children Throughout the story, she illuminates the complexities faced by adoptee s including reuniting with her birth family and experiencing rejection and alienation which she handles with grace and compassion A turning point occurs when she is given her adoption file and finds the answers to lifelong missing links She finds her truth and in doing so, she embarks on a mission to bring the plight of adoptees with the closed adoption system to light and help them fight for access to their adoption records Her story brings hope and inspiration to anyone who has been adopted and wants to search for their birth family Beyond that, it is a well crafted, compelling story that kept me turning the pages until the end She shows us clearly by weaving in elements of her current life how getting in touch with her birth family while not always as pleasant as she had hoped, helps her to pave the way for peace and joy in her life Her story will make a difference by enlightening, inspiring and bringing a reason for adoptees to hope


  2. says:

    Linda Hoye tells a very real, heart wrenching story of not just her adoption, but her life The circumstances of her adoption, especially since she was born in the era of closed adoptions where the entire situation was often viewed with fear and misgivings and shame, cause her no end of grief and difficulty throughout the rest of her life, though with plenty of good moments, as well.I could not fear that her experience was typical, because, for one, there is no adoption experience or family, Linda Hoye tells a very real, heart wrenching story of not just her adoption, but her life The circumstances of her adoption, especially since she was born in the era of closed adoptions where the entire situation was often viewed with fear and misgivings and shame, cause her no end of grief and difficulty throughout the rest of her life, though with plenty of good moments, as well.I could not fear that her experience was typical, because, for one, there is no adoption experience or family, for that matter that is typical each story is unique with its own challenges and triumphs She shares her gratitude toward her adoptive family, though there is a lot of anger toward her adoptive parents because they made her feel as if her being adopted was shameful and something to hide There was also a high level of alcohol use in her family, which would cause much of her struggles and bad choices later in life whether she had been adopted or not In that way, some of the experience is that of any normal family Her presentation, however, suggests that while her family certainly had its own struggles and skeletons in the closet, her adoptive parents really did the best that they knew in their era, addressing the adoption issue with both their adopted children as they were guided by doctors and experts which was, namely, to pretend it didn t exist and that there was no past before coming into their adoptive family She feels anger toward this attitude but also respect for and understand of the decisions they faced when adoption was not as widely known and acceptable as it is today.Ms Hoye was also adopted as an infant, with her records sealed, not as an older child taken from home due to some abuse or the inability of the parents to effectively take care of the child children That experience is widely different from those adopted as infants or especially from those who were not aware they were adopted until much later in their lives.That being said, however, this is not a story about all adoptions and circumstances or a critique on adoption in general It is one woman s story and experiences and she so willingly opens herself up to be vulnerable in order to let the whole truth be known that one cannot help but be moved and feel her pain and that of the others in her story It s a story that is unique and one worth knowing, as every human being is worth knowing Book provided free from Goodreads.com First Reads for purpose of review


  3. says:

    This book was lovely and heartbreaking at the same time If I hadn t just finished watching a biography of Steve Jobs on TV, I might think that adoption is a bad idea In the case of Jobs, the fact that he was adopted by those particular parents, and that particular location on the planet, probably gave him the foundation to become the superstar he was In the case of Linda Hoye, many of the adults did the best they could under tough circumstances, but there s no question she suffered, and it af This book was lovely and heartbreaking at the same time If I hadn t just finished watching a biography of Steve Jobs on TV, I might think that adoption is a bad idea In the case of Jobs, the fact that he was adopted by those particular parents, and that particular location on the planet, probably gave him the foundation to become the superstar he was In the case of Linda Hoye, many of the adults did the best they could under tough circumstances, but there s no question she suffered, and it affected everything that happened in her life I drew inspiration from her tenacious desire to find her roots, a quest muchdifficult in the days before the Internet I also took away from this book that we don t have to be defined by circumstance, and even being raised in a difficult situation can t diminish the life spirit Two Hearts is well written and compelling, and I recommend it


  4. says:

    Although I bought Linda s book a few months ago, I didn t pick it up to read it until yesterday I read the entire book in one day It really is that good Linda weaves her story beautifully I felt like she was in the room with me and I was honored to hear her story Though I am not adopted, I could relate to much of what she wrote about and that endeared her to me all the .A great read of abandonment, grief, love, strength, redemption, and reality.


  5. says:

    Linda Hoye opens her memoir with a quote from Alex Haley In all of us there is a hunger, marrow deep, to know our heritage to know who we are and where we came from Without this enriching knowledge, there is a hollow yearning No matter what our attainments in life, there is still a vacuum, an emptiness, and the most disquieting loneliness I sat for some time focusing on these words because I felt they held the core of the author s story The words vacuum, emptiness and disquieting lone Linda Hoye opens her memoir with a quote from Alex Haley In all of us there is a hunger, marrow deep, to know our heritage to know who we are and where we came from Without this enriching knowledge, there is a hollow yearning No matter what our attainments in life, there is still a vacuum, an emptiness, and the most disquieting loneliness I sat for some time focusing on these words because I felt they held the core of the author s story The words vacuum, emptiness and disquieting loneliness gripped my heart, and I had not read the first page.Hoye shares her story with a compelling voice exuding genuineness and poignancy as she allows us to join her on a journey to find her biological parents, to fill that void She never diminishes the love and care she received from her adoptive parents, Ed and Laura Brauer However, certain actions on the part of the sBrauers raises questions in Hoye s mind In the 1950s, two standard mor s were in place the chosen baby story and secretive behaviors about adoption.Like all adoptive parents in the 1950s, Ed and Laura were programmed by social workers to reassure their new little daughter of five months that she was a chosen baby She was special Later, Hoye begins to question the uniqueness of the baby girl adopted by Ed and Laura How true is this story If she is so special and chosen, why was she given up Her parents obvious secretiveness at times is troubling to Hoye One example she writes about is a visit to her pediatrician When the doctor asks if there is a family history of certain conditions, her parents respond in the negative Hoye questions in her mind how they would know anything about her family s medical history when no one knew where or who her family was.Even though the Brauers adopt another child, also a girl, making Hoye the older of the two vo children, she still feels insignificant and unnecessary Despite these feelings, she is the older child who begins to assume aresponsible role in the family caring for younger Lori when the Brauers are out Yet she doesn t feel as brave as she thinks she should Always doubting herself.As an adult, she continues to long for the feeling of an intact family as well as her birth family Unfortunately, like most of us, those yearnings can often lead to poor decisions and Hoye finds herself in an abusive marriage with two children of her own Although she stays longer than is best for herself or her children, Hoye takes up the yoke of a heroine and finds her way to a safer place.Along the way, complexities and questions continue to daunt her search for her birth family until she is finally able to obtain her adoption file Throughout her story, the author allows her vulnerability as an adoptee telling this story so that others may see that the way has opened for adopters to search for their birth families Having found some of her own truth and at the same time having faced some disappointments, Hoye joins the movement to bring to the attention of other adoptees adopted during the closed adoption system the possibilities that now exist for them.Well written and compelling, Two Hearts is an inspiration to anyone who reads it, but especially to those among us who are adopted and searching for those roots Alex Haley wrote of many years ago We all long for connection, for family ties and for heritage Not all are as lucky as most of us and their journey is marked by disappointments, dead ends and often a lack of information.My Recommendation I highly recommend Two Hearts to anyone who is adopted and searching as it does offer hope and courage along your journey Families considering the adoption process or going through it will find this book a gateway into the feelings some children have about being adopted.NOTE I received a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for a fair and honest review


  6. says:

    This is certainly the most moving book I ve read this year Those of us fortunate enough to have been born into conventional nuclear families, those in which biological parents keep and cherish their offspring, can really only guess at how it must feel to grow up in an adoptive one knowing that, even if your surrogate parents are genuinely loving, they aren t really your natural mum and dad not your proper ones.In this beautifully written autobiography, Linda Hoye poignantly describes her feeli This is certainly the most moving book I ve read this year Those of us fortunate enough to have been born into conventional nuclear families, those in which biological parents keep and cherish their offspring, can really only guess at how it must feel to grow up in an adoptive one knowing that, even if your surrogate parents are genuinely loving, they aren t really your natural mum and dad not your proper ones.In this beautifully written autobiography, Linda Hoye poignantly describes her feelings of not entirely belonging she was told that she was adopted as a child , of apartness, of low self image After all, she reasons heartbreakingly, she must have lacked something been in some way unlovable for her real parents, or possibly single parent, to have simply given her away, unwanted Poor, poor girl Reading her often wistful but never self pitying account, I felt enormous sympathy and empathy This is often an uncomfortable read, as Linda tells of making a huge mistake in choice of life partner, one which results in an unhappy, abusive marriage, because she s so desperate for acceptance on almost any terms.Her account of her search for her biological parents and extended family after the death of her adoptive mum and dad is often harrowing too, with many disappointments, but by contrast there are touching descriptions of unalloyed joy too, such as when her first grandchild is born and her happiness that the child will grow up in a happy and loving family, rooted in her true tribe.Technically this is an excellent book too, and exceptionally well written I liked the way the author wrote in the first person obviously and present tense That conferred immediacy and intimacy and I felt myself to be present, a privileged guest in her mind, party to her thoughts and feelings The narrative was strong and highly readable so that it felt to me almost like a fiction novel The book begins on an emotional high, thus drawing you in, and Linda saves the fitting of the final pieces of the jigsaw of her origins until the last, so it finishes satisfyingly climactically.This book will certainly be one of my top five reads this year, if not the top two or three Or even number one I think it should be required reading for everyone, particularly students, as a lesson in compassion and empathy Inspirational is a much overused clich , but for this book it entirely fits.Thank you so much Ms Hoye It s a lovely, lovely book


  7. says:

    I couldn t put Linda Hoye s memoir down, it was very touching and encouraging for me.As a fellow adoptee, who took similar paths in life, her story helped me I look forward to reading her sequel.There are so many issues when it comes to the secrecy of adoption and Linda portrayed some important levels of the torment that we live through Taking the journey with her through this story brought up memoiries of my own that resonated with her heartache and struggles An inspirational journey that wi I couldn t put Linda Hoye s memoir down, it was very touching and encouraging for me.As a fellow adoptee, who took similar paths in life, her story helped me I look forward to reading her sequel.There are so many issues when it comes to the secrecy of adoption and Linda portrayed some important levels of the torment that we live through Taking the journey with her through this story brought up memoiries of my own that resonated with her heartache and struggles An inspirational journey that will help many who are touched by adoptiong.Her quotes were spot on and led to deeper thoughts of what goes on under the surface of an adoptee s heart I m ready to read it againsearch for the parallels that moved me and allow her story to transform my story The quest for identity is at it s core Who are we anyways An adoptee really does feel that they are just dropped on the Earth from outerspaceit is disturbing and the body remembers so many rejections Living in secret and adapting to what other s want makes it evendifficult to discover one s own identity These emotions and feelings are very real and are carried for a lifetime.I cried and stomped around with Lindathere is so much to the story If you are adopted, if you know someone that is adopted, if you have adopted, or were forced to give up your baby, this memoir will resonate with you.Pick this one upthe story of Linda s life is important to all of us.Thank you Lindafrom the bottom of my heart, I reach out with hugs and consider you a sister and understand your struggle.XO


  8. says:

    Book Review Two Hearts An Adoptee s Journey Through Grief to GratitudeAuthor and adoptee, Linda Hoye, has written an eloquent yet straight forward account of her growing up and young adulthood experiences in her memoir, Two Hearts An Adoptee s Journey Through Grief to Gratitude As a child and teenager, Linda embraced her adoptive parents, sister and beloved aunt and uncles, but at some level, she knows this is not the whole truth of her true being My self is fractured, and I m not sure who Book Review Two Hearts An Adoptee s Journey Through Grief to GratitudeAuthor and adoptee, Linda Hoye, has written an eloquent yet straight forward account of her growing up and young adulthood experiences in her memoir, Two Hearts An Adoptee s Journey Through Grief to Gratitude As a child and teenager, Linda embraced her adoptive parents, sister and beloved aunt and uncles, but at some level, she knows this is not the whole truth of her true being My self is fractured, and I m not sure who I am or where I fit p 23, Kindle edition Ms Hoye also addresses grief and angst, feelings universal to all, but this time with a distinct perspective understood uniquely by adoptees, especially with closed adoptions from the Baby Scoop Era of secrecy and shame.As an adoptee myself from that time, I could completely relate to the period in history, the profound yet unexplainable sense of loss and need to feel connected with all family As a parent, I also understand the need for wholeness in my children s heritage as well as my own.What a lovely story Two Hearts is I m very fortunate to have had the opportunity to read this


  9. says:

    Two things that make a memoir great honesty and craft Linda Hoye s Two Hearts has both, resulting in a compelling and heart wrenching story As I witnessed Linda truly move through grief to gratitude, my emotions ran the gamut, from tense and hopeful during the first half, and relieved and ultimately joyous in the second half, when she finds understanding and peace Two Hearts is a worthy addition to the body of adoption related literature But it is not just an adoption memoir It s for Two things that make a memoir great honesty and craft Linda Hoye s Two Hearts has both, resulting in a compelling and heart wrenching story As I witnessed Linda truly move through grief to gratitude, my emotions ran the gamut, from tense and hopeful during the first half, and relieved and ultimately joyous in the second half, when she finds understanding and peace Two Hearts is a worthy addition to the body of adoption related literature But it is not just an adoption memoir It s for anyone who appreciates excellent writing and a story of struggle and eventual triumph over a difficult past I highly recommend it


  10. says:

    Two Hearts is not a lite book, but I breezed right through it as if it was As an adoptee, I found Linda s story, and her feelings about her adoption and family relationships, completely relatable and beautifully articulated Her story arc is a satisfying one, as she wades through decades of patient, heart breaking work uncovering family history to make sense of various relationships and ultimately unearth who she is I finished the book inspired by both the author s emotional journey, and her Two Hearts is not a lite book, but I breezed right through it as if it was As an adoptee, I found Linda s story, and her feelings about her adoption and family relationships, completely relatable and beautifully articulated Her story arc is a satisfying one, as she wades through decades of patient, heart breaking work uncovering family history to make sense of various relationships and ultimately unearth who she is I finished the book inspired by both the author s emotional journey, and her goal to serve as an educator and a healer about adoption


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